Welcome to The Manifestation Q&A Series.
I am Jennifer Pastiloff and this series is designed to introduce the world to someone I find incredible. Someone who is manifesting their dreams on a daily basis.
Someone like Krista Allen.
Today’s guest is Krista Allen, who happens to be one of my closest friends. Krista is an actress whom many of you are familiar with, either from her HBO series Unscripted or one of her other movies or tv shows. Her latest is a new show on The CW Network called The La Complex.
So most of you have at least seen her face. What most of you don’t know is what an amazing and passionate human being Krista Allen is. My intention in having her sit down with us today is to have you be as inspired by her as I am. She is kind and humble, grounded and funny, generous and compassionate. And drop dead gorgeous to boot.
I am so excited to have the world get to know Krista in the way I know her. She has taught me many valuable lessons, not only about my own spirituality, but about life. In the interview below, she is raw and honest and insightful. It is my greatest honor to introduce you the incomparable Krista Allen.
Jennifer Pastiloff: What are you most proud to have manifested in your life?
Krista Allen: Well, it’s all about the power of thought, right?
I am most proud to have manifested every bump, bruise, failed relationship and painful experience in my journey so far. Without THAT, I wouldn’t be here.
I literally had to “manifest” my reality in a way that was so contrary to who I Really AM. And there is a profound beauty in that … I got to see myself.
Really See Myself. Like really truly, unabashedly look at the shadow side of ME… of my own special I AM-ness.
I needed to lose myself, in order to find myself. I experienced very devastating “force de major” the last 2 1/2 years that needed to happen so I could choose to wake up!
So, I opened my eyes. I re-created a belief system that was all mine, instead of the one that didn’t even belong to me. I am now, on this path of freedom, finding peace. It wasn’t until I was willing to LET GO of the belief system that “I AM NOT ENOUGH” that I was able to embrace and allow the truth of “I AM SOOOOO ENOUGH.”
Jennifer Pastiloff: I used to wait in you for years when I was a waitress at The Newsroom and trying to be an actress. You were always so kind and funny and humble. I admired you for that. That’s what stuck out about you. Years later, it’s those same qualities I admire in you. How do you stay so grounded?
Krista Allen: That made me laugh! You have watched me on this recent journey, and to ask how I stay grounded knowing what you have seen, and how you even had to detach from me for a bit is humbling. I just look for the honesty now, much more than demanding the truth. I used to have an insatiable need to pretend to control the outcome in order to feel worthy. The grounded part of me NOW is all about letting go of the need for control, in all aspects of my life, and allowing God to be my personal GPS. I mean, it’s always been there … but my ego would generally convince me that “I know a better way” … so I wouldn’t listen to the loving voice telling me “WRONG WAY!!!” … but my personal Higher Power GPS continues to recalculate all the time, and when I LISTEN, I get where I NEED to be and it might not be where I think I want to go. I’m trusting more and more that when I’m guided to make a U turn… I take the damn U turn!
Jennifer Pastiloff: What has been the toughest decision you have ever made?
Krista Allen: Letting go. My toughest decision has been to look at myself and begin to forgive myself for buying into those belief systems for so long that kept me stuck. I was always looking for something or someone to believe in. I had a tough time as a kid, and there was a lot of abuse present in my childhood. So, I kept a lot of secrets. I learned early on that if I said something, then I would be “bad” and I was afraid to “get in trouble”. This was my belief system. I was taught early on that I didn’t have a valid voice. I would be seen as weak if I spoke up and then, there was this false bravado if I stayed silent.
In order to make decision, You have to make the choice to let go of something. That “something” I was attaching to was that I needed to be controlled to feel loved, and stay small to feel safe.
So, a lot of my choices were based on choosing people to believe in, that might not have been so … how can I say this … wise to pick. I figured at the time, if I could just make “this person” be good to me, then I must be worthy of love, and then I could believe in myself.
In all truth, my past thoughts and core beliefs were my greatest hindrance to any freedom and happiness in my life. Choosing to be willing to change that was/is the most powerful decision I have ever made.
Jennifer Pastiloff: How has that reflected in your years of working an actress in Hollywood?
Krista Allen: I’m always a work in progress. In this moment, right now, is the greatest adventure I’ve ever been on. If I look at certain roles I’ve done, especially, early on … some were questionable, to say the least. As I mentioned, I adapted a false belief about who I AM. (… which is a lot more about who I thought I needed to be.) There was so much of myself that I refused to own and embrace, and that put me in a really vulnerable place. So, there was some anger and frustration there. Like… “COME ON! Someone give me a freakin’ break now!” … it was me that had to give myself a freakin’ break. My career, much like my life, is evolving. I’m loving this part of my journey.
Jennifer Pastiloff: Can you tell us your favorite part about working on The La Complex?
Krista Allen: MARTIN GERO!! (creator of THE LA COMPLEX) That man is a genius! Besides that… I really love my character. I have never played a role like this. I guess I can’t give too much info on that as season 2 has not started yet. But I will tell you that my storyline is great. The entire cast is so talented and I’m really proud to be on this show. It’s like a blend of Unscripted ( an HBO series I did), Melrose Place, and … Friends?
Jennifer Pastiloff: What is the greatest lesson you have learned this past year about yourself?
Krista Allen: The greatest lesson at this time is that I don’t have to ever keep myself small to make someone else feel better about themselves. EVER.
I have learned that I am a powerful woman, a wonderful mother and daughter, and an incredibly loyal friend. I am so grateful for my family … the one I came to be with here in this lifetime, and the family members that I have “adopted” throughout my journey, so far. I’m learning how to balance humanity and divine truth.
Jennifer Pastiloff: Speaking of adopted family, I know you are dear friends Tom Shadyac, and as I am a huge fan of his film I Am ( get it folks! It is amazing.) I would love to know what you have learned Tom Shadyac.
Krista Allen: Tom has been my voice of reason. The funny thing is that I met Tom in 1996 when he directed me in Liar Liar. How fitting for my perception of what I was believing about how life showed up for me …and, I played the role of “elevator girl” … which again, is pretty fitting since an elevator is all about “pushing buttons” to go up or down! Tom has been a huge influence in supporting me in my I AM-ness. He’s my divinely adopted big brother and I adore that man.
Jennifer Pastiloff: What is the greatest lesson you have learned from Jake, your son?
Krista Allen: Forgiveness and patience. He is almost 15! (agggghhhh!!!!) He has shown me, especially recently, what forgiveness and patience through unconditional love looks like. That boy is so freakin’ special. My son is the most important person in my life.
Jennifer Pastiloff: Who/what inspires you the most?
Krista Allen: Besides Jake, who inspires me daily to be the best I can be. I have so much that inspires me!
(side note from Krista: as your readers peruse the following, they might want to imagine the pungent smell of pachouli seeping through cyberspace and out of their air vents in the computer… and perhaps, a funky harp playing?)
I believe that there is a power greater than me, greater than anything I could ever achieve in my own way of thinking. My best thinking has gotten me into some pretty messy places in my life! It’s the feeling of oneness that inspires me. The connection to the stillness of the Palm tree just BEING a damn Palm tree. Observing. .. the roots in the ground that can’t easily be shaken… The way a little seed can become that massive Palm tree. … The Ocean… Dolphins… People …. Life force inspires me! .. (okay… end the damn pachouli smell and harp music.)
Jennifer Pastiloff: What would you say to your 16 year old self?
Krista Allen: “Oh my God!! You poor thing!! I will save you!”
Ha! That’s what I would want to say … But what I would say now is this: Know this you beautiful girl… No one can ever save you. You will be your own savior. It will take you years to understand this … so your journey is not going to be easy. But it will be worth it. I promise you this. You are good. You are powerful… and one day, you will know this. If I told you what your life will be like, I would doing you a huge disservice. This is your journey and I understand why you are angry. Believe there IS a reason for every single moment. Your tears will be liquid prayers, even in those times you decide to believe there isn’t anyone to pray too. You will always know, somewhere inside of you, that you are never alone, even when you feel like you are. … You are heard. Believe that. You have so much beauty to see in this lifetime … even though it might not be very pretty.
Jennifer Pastiloff: That is so beautiful. thank you. Can you share with us a bit about your passion for saving animals and being a Vegan?
Krista Allen: I guess this goes back to being connected to everything. If an animal is in pain or suffering… I feel that very deeply, and it hurts. There is such an innocence to animals. Just like there is an innocence to humans. But, the difference is the ego. Have you ever seen a dog make his fellow pack mate pay over and over for peeing on the floor? NOPE. But we see that in humanity all the time. Don’t we make people and ourselves pay over and over for our/their mistakes? … Ahhh, I digress into spiritual babble, again. (note from Jen: That is one of the qualities I love most about Krista!)
Okay, back on point… I believe that the quality of life pertaining to all living creatures is crucial to the global consciousness in the world. I’m simply not okay eating animals. I shutter at the thought of the intense fear they must feel in their short time in this life as a food source. I believe when humans eat the flesh of another living creature, the fear or sadness of their quality of life is also taken in… and don’t get me started about all the hormones, antibiotics, sickness and cruelty…. I could write a whole book about it!
Jennifer Pastiloff: You could write a book about it! You sort of did
I love all of your knowledge about veganism. Who has been your greatest teacher?
Krista Allen: Life! It’s not so much a who, but a what. I have always been a student of life … I just didn’t choose to pay attention and I played hookie a lot. I totally thought I had all the answers, but never acknowledged what my own questions were. The joy I have found is that once I was truly willing to change, and willing to listen… the teachers appeared in every form imaginable.
Jennifer Pastiloff: What are some of your “aha” moments in your life that you can share.
Krista Allen: I have “aha” moments a lot. …and I also have A-HA!! moments …Like…
“A-HA … he ain’t gonna change!!”
You know when people change?… When they are ready too, and not one second sooner. My true “AHA” moment was seeing that it was ME that needed to change.
I create. … and I mis-create. … I fall and I get up… I fly high and I crash and burn … and, it’s taken me a long time to understand that this is all part of my human experience and there’s not a thing wrong with that. It’s just being human. So, to be able to experience separation from the good stuff… makes it utterly blissful to experience oneness in the good stuff. And for me, that journey is all about forgiveness. It’s the key to my happiness. This is a constant process with gradual progress.
I see myself in others a lot now, in those moments that trigger my impatience or judgment. Which is more often than I care to admit! Look, I just got mad and gave a mean angry face to someone this morning for stealing “my” parking space in the Whole Foods parking lot. Then, after I realized that I was being just as entitled, I laughed. I remembered that I’ve done that TO someone else … oh … a few hundred times!? I was able to say “Hello Me, there I am, stealing someone’s parking space again!” … That’s an example of an AHA moment today.
Jennifer Pastiloff: How do you define success?
Krista Allen: I like to think of it as achievement rather than success. I’ll know I’ve achieved my own personal success when I can put my head down on my pillow at night and not be a little freaked out when I pray “Dear God, Tomorrow, please have everybody that I come in contact with, treat me exactly the way I’ve treated people today, AMEN!’…
Jennifer Pastiloff: Thoughts on the mind/body connection?
Krista Allen: It’s all about that divine energy … that amazing power that as humans in a temporary body.. we forget is all part of the package. We are so much more than the body. And, once that is explored… miracles really do happen … and I think, that is where the healing begins.
Jennifer Pastiloff: What would a snapshot of Krista Allen’s day look like?
Krista Allen: Wake up: laugh at my sleepy pups with their legs stretching out while sliding across the sheets on their bellies, giving me kisses. I Pray. I Meditate. I ask for guidance and send love to the people and places in my thoughts. Regardless of the thought! I nourish my body with food. I follow the divine guidance I receive, if I’m not feeling too cheeky. Or, I rebel against it if i let my ego take over, and then I pay later. I tell my son I love him, I check in with family and friends, I study my lines, work, I read new scripts, I meet with some amazingly talented directors and writers, I get creative and share my ideas with other artists, I hit the beach with my pups or go on a hike. Practice Yoga. … I write a lot, I reach out to friends and do some business stuff, I read, I laugh a lot…I call my son and my mom and my dad. Maybe get a mani-pedi… Check on my social networking stuff which I have recently gone back to as part of my FREEDOM journey. @KristaAllenXO
… And some days, I don’t wanna do anything but sit in a feeling and have a pitty party for a thought that won’t leave my mind. But I allow it now, instead of resisting it. I pushed my feelings down for so long and I was a just pretending to be okay, instead of just experiencing humanity and being honest enough to say “I am so not okay in this moment!” … But no matter what, I write a gratitude list. Even if all I can muster in the moment is “Grrrrr … I am grateful for knowing there is something I am grateful for!!”
Jennifer Pastiloff: Gratitude is the greatest force In my life. Most of my classes are set to this theme. If you could say thank you right now, who would it be to?
Krista Allen: The universal mind… which to me is simply, God. THANK YOU!
All the opportunities to grow are right there, I think, for a reason.
Jennifer Pastiloff: If you weren’t acting what would you be doing?
Krista Allen: Oh, that’s easy!
Something super simple like … running a yoga and meditation and surfing retreat complete with spa and beauty services, and a revolutionary holistic healing center, while running an organic vegan bistro from my incredibly vast and sustainable garden, that also has the most amazing animal rescue in the world, and of course, lots of kids of all ages (0-199) running around happy and learning… adopted, fostered, healing, feeling love…. while writing best selling novels and oscar winning screenplays and relaxing in the middle of it all on my very own tropical island, with a full art studio, and harnessing epic guitar playing skills and have a voice like Adelle, and all this would be on the eco friendly tropical island which housed an amazing community of my entire family and friends … and a true life partner, just for me… and be independently wealthy to do all of that while also supporting a kazillion charities and non profit organizations and kick starter projects to help make the world a better place … Just simple, see?
Jennifer Pastiloff: Can you share with us about your yoga/meditation practice?
Krista Allen: I practice yoga as often as I can. It really is a way of living … and not just going to a class. It’s the practice OFF the mat that sustains me. Meditation is a daily ritual. I love guided meditations… my brain likes to jump around a lot, so I find when I can be guided by a CD or a class, I stay more focused. But I’m working on just being mindful in the silence for longer than say …. Oh, 2 seconds! (… Hey look, there’s a squirrel!)
Jennifer Pastiloff: You’re funny! Next question. What fulfills you?
Krista Allen: I am fulfilled when I “get it” … whether it’s with my son, my friends, my family, my dogs, riding a wave in the ocean (even for a split second!!), taking someone through a Vynassa that’s never done one…. that moment of connection. Yeah… Being of service and allowing that gift to reciprocate the way it just does. That magical flow of energy. There’s truly is nothing better than that.
Jennifer Pastiloff: I know these past few years have been really hard for you and everyone who wanted you to be happy. What has been the silver lining to come out of those years?
Krista Allen: FREEDOM ….I bought into the believe that it was selfish to take care of myself or that I had the right to live my life out loud. I thought that I must hide the truth and live my life the way others wanted me too, in order to be a loved back. And ya know what? I did it with a ton of resentment and expectation. OUCH! That’s a tough one to say, but it’s true. So,in the words of Janice Joplin.. Freedom’s just another word for nothin left to lose, nothin’ don’t mean nothin, hun, if it ain’t free!
Jennifer Pastiloff: What are some words you live by?
I am grateful.
I forgive you.
I forgive myself.
Jennifer Pastiloff: What’s up next for Krista Allen?
Krista Allen: I am spending time with my son and my pups and my family and friends!! I have the show LA complex that I’m working on, I’m writing a lot, I’m teaching Yoga to my surfer and MMA buddies when I am in LA, I’m getting offers for new projects with people that inspire me, I’m cooking a lot of yummy vegan and raw meals for friends and family, I am speaking at charities for abused women, supporting them in finding their solution …. and I just signed on to work with OM TIMES! I get to host interviews with some brilliant people that are helping to shine their light in the world! It’s really very cool, as it will also be in conjunction with my blog www.veggieboomboom.com!